“There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”
Obviously Franklin D. Roosevelt never met a clown.
All joking aside, many of us spend our lives paralyzed by fear, unable to live up to our fullest potential. In order to overcome our fear, we first need to identify what type of fear it is, and ask ourselves: is it actually protecting us from harm?
When I say types of fear, I don’t mean the specific phobias such as fear of public speaking, sharks, or the aforementioned clowns (which are all perfectly reasonable in my book). No, I’m talking about a difference between healthy fears and unhealthy fears.
There are certain fears that are biologically ingrained, real fears that keep us from endangering our physical safety and have allowed us to survive as a species. This category includes fire, heights and poisonous spiders. We should be afraid of these things – it’s just smart. (I would argue that clowns should be included in this list due to their extreme creepiness).
Then there is the other type of fear… the unhealthy kind. This type of fear doesn’t protect us from physical danger. Instead, it prevents us from growing and becoming the best versions of ourselves. Some call it psychological fear. This type of fear is our ego doing everything in its power to protect itself.
Do you remember reading about the ego in that Psych 101 class back in the day?
Freud originally described the ego as the sense of self. It is the “me” that we believe ourselves to be.
How does that relate to fear?
Imagine that you have a picture of who you are emblazoned in your head. You are absolutely terrified by the thought of anything threatening that picture that you have, so you do anything necessary to protect yourself.
That’s your ego. It has a set idea of who you are and it will rear its ugly little head at the first threat of change.
When you are afraid to speak out in a meeting, when you are afraid to ask out that gorgeous waitress, when you are afraid to apply for a new job, that’s your ego. When the thought of speaking in front of a room full of people causes you to break out into a cold sweat and hide in a custodian’s closet, that is your ego screaming, “You might look bad! Just stay quiet and we can keep being who we are.”
Fear of public speaking is psychological, not real. No one has ever died from giving a speech (though it was brought to my attention that someone did have a heart attack on stage. I’m going to chock that up to an unhealthy lifestyle, a family history of heart disease, and a 72-ounce porterhouse steak that he may have had right before he went on. Either way, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the actual act of public speaking that did him in).
So the next time that you utter the words (aloud or in your head), “I’m too scared,” ask yourself if your fear is real and will keep you physically safe, or if your fear is psychological and will only serve to keep you stuck.
And the next time that you see a clown… run.
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