As women, we are born and raised to be people pleasers. From a young age we are taught not to make waves. We avoid conflict (yep, I’m going with sweeping generalizations here – if you disagree with anything, stop reading… or don’t and be entertained by how much of an ass you think I’m being), rarely speak our minds, will put up with piles of crap rather than putting our foot down (I guess it keep us from stepping in the crap), act proper and respectful when what we really want to do is tell people where to stick their opinions, and the worst sin of all… we allow the fear of how people will react to dictate our behavior.
Be honest. How many times have you wanted to do something, wear something, say something, eat something, leave something or sleep with someone (would’ve been weird to keep up the “somethings”), but you didn’t… because “What would people think of me?”
I have a bigger question for you to answer:
WHO THE FUDGE CARES?
I said it (and now in an effort not to curse, I am craving chocolate). If your “friends” are judging you because you decide to wear white before Labor Day (is that still a thing?), because you devour that second helping of fudge (now I’m stuck on this), or because you decide to leave an unfulfilling relationship… they aren’t your real friends. People that care about you, care about you no matter what.
Do you remember that movie Heathers back in the 1980s? Girl wants so desperately to be part of the in crowd that she loses her shit and ends up killing everyone and possibly herself – I’m a little fuzzy on the details. It’s probably been a decade since I’ve seen it. But what I’m getting at here is that when we are desperate to people please, when we put other people’s opinions of our lives ahead of our own, when we work really hard to become someone we aren’t just so other people like us… bad shit happens.
At any time in my life, there are about 2-3 people that have cart blanche permission to give me their opinions. They’ve got this permission because they have proven that they love me, that they have my best interests at heart, and that when they give me advice, they aren’t speaking out of their butts. This is usually my parents and a trusted friend. When I have to make a decision, even if I can’t speak to them at that moment, I try to evaluate it through their eyes. You know how some people walk around with bracelets that say “WWJD” (short for “what would Jesus do”)? I want you to find one person in your life who’s opinion you respect, who makes sound decisions, has proven that they care about you and want what’s best for you, and whose life is an example of what you want your life to be, and wear an imaginary bracelet “WW(insert their initial here)D. Whenever you have to make a decision, you can refer back to that imaginary bracelet. If you want to be really crazy, and actually trust your gut and feel like you know what’s best for your life, throw an “I” into there. Ask yourself “What would I do?”. Is your mind blown yet?
Everyone has an opinion but not everyone’s opinion matters. Live your life according to how you want to live it and If the rest of the world doesn’t like what you’re doing, they can suck it.