Have you been watching your team and identifying the Boundary Busters?

Last week, we talked about seven office personalities who are contributing to burnout and workplace drama.

Oh yeah. I checked and we’ve got ALL of them. But what do I do to fix it?

I’m so glad you asked!

Whether you are leading the team or just dealing with boundary-busting coworkers, you can set the boundaries that will make your workplace a much more pleasant environment.

Please note: I did not say you can control others. Even as the boss, there’s only one person whose behavior and attitude you can control… you. Now, this doesn’t mean you can’t expect a certain level of performance and professionalism, but you certainly can’t force it.

I digress.

While we’ve all been told to “set boundaries,” nobody really teaches you how to do it when you’re dealing with people who bulldoze, guilt-trip, or emotionally dump on you like it’s their job.

Good news — I will.

Using No-BS Boundaries™ for better performance, I teach people how to set clear, healthy boundaries at work without burning bridges, losing their cool, or ghosting coworkers. And today, we’re calling out the office boundary busters by name and giving you no-BS scripts and strategies to handle them like a pro.

Ready? Let’s PEC this thing.

The PEC Model

Before we dive in, let’s do a brief overview of my PEC™ Model. This is a 3-step process you can use to deal with all boundary-related challenges.

Pause

Take a moment to breathe and step out of your emotional brain and into your logical brain. If you need more time to think, let the other person know that you aren’t ready to respond and you’ll get back to them by a certain date or time.

Evaluate

Consider what’s best for your organization, you, and your mental health. This allows you to make an intentional decision regarding your boundaries rather than reacting emotionally.

Communicate

Identifying and communicating your boundaries to another person are two entirely different beasts. When you communicate, you’ll want to be clear, confident, compassionate, calm, and consistent.

With the PEC™ Model in your tool belt, let’s look at how to handle each personality type. 

Dealing with Boundary Busters

Once you’ve identified who you have in your office, it’s time to use these tips and scripts to set your boundaries.

Mary Martyr

Boundary Blunder: Can’t say no, stews in silence, then resents the world.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: Notice when Mary’s piling it on herself (or you).
• Evaluate: Do you need to intervene on this for the team’s health or yours?
• Communicate:
  “Mary, I appreciate how helpful you are, and I’ve noticed you’ve been taking on a lot lately. It’s okay — and actually healthy — to say no sometimes. What can we take off your plate today?”

Pro Tip: Don’t reinforce her martyr complex by celebrating burnout. Compliment her strategic decisions, not just her sacrifices.

Bulldozer Bob

Boundary Blunder: Micromanaging, time-invading, space-clueless.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: When Bob barges in or pings you at 8 p.m., take a breath before reacting.
• Evaluate: Is this truly urgent? Or just Bob being Bob?
• Communicate:
  “Hey Bob, I’d love to support you on this. I’m currently heads-down on [priority task] until [specific time]. Let’s connect [tomorrow at X] so I can give you the attention you deserve.”

Pro Tip: Use clear, time-specific boundaries. Bob respects calendars, not hints.

Needy Nancy

Boundary Blunder: Emotional dumping and time hijacking.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: Resist the urge to get pulled into her 30-minute saga.
• Evaluate: Is this a relationship you want to nurture or a drain you need to manage?
• Communicate:
  “Nancy, you always have the best stories. I’m slammed today and need to stay on task. Let’s catch up over lunch next week.”

Pro Tip: You can use humor and kindness, but stay firm. Don’t get guilted into 45-minute coffee breaks.

Overcommitted Olivia

Boundary Blunder: Signs up for everything, silently suffers.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: When you hear her volunteer again.
• Evaluate: Is this going to impact your project or team, or is Olivia near her breaking point?
• Communicate:
  “Olivia, I admire your enthusiasm, but I’ve noticed you’re carrying a heavy load. Are you sure you have the bandwidth for this? It’s okay to pass — we’ve got your back.”

Pro Tip: Model boundary-setting in front of her. Say no gracefully yourself to show it’s safe.

Guilt-Trip Greg

Boundary Blunder: Master of passive-aggressive guilt trips.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: Before defensively explaining yourself.
• Evaluate: Is his request reasonable, or is he using emotional manipulation?
• Communicate:
  “Greg, I understand you’re busy too. I’ve got my hands full right now and won’t be able to pick that up. Let’s see if there’s another option.”

Pro Tip: Don’t fall for his martyr act. Stay calm, factual, and guilt-free.

TMI Tina

Boundary Blunder: Oversharing and making others uncomfortable.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: When she starts into yet another overshare.
• Evaluate: Is this an HR situation or a casual boundary moment?
• Communicate:
  “Tina, you’re always so open. I’m not super comfortable discussing personal stuff at work. Let’s keep it light.”

Pro Tip: Use humor or light redirecting if appropriate, but be direct if it crosses a line.

Silent Sam

Boundary Blunder: Bottles it up, explodes later.

How to Deal:
PEC it:

• Pause: Notice his sarcasm or facial contortions.
• Evaluate: Is this a good moment to check in or do you need to address it privately later?
• Communicate:
  “Sam, I’m picking up on some tension. How are you feeling about [the topic]? It’s important we speak up before it gets overwhelming.”

Pro Tip: Create a safe space for Sam to speak his mind. Don’t make him guess it’s okay to have boundaries.

Conclusion

Boundaries aren’t about saying no to everything. They’re about showing up for your job and yourself in a way that’s sustainable, clear, and healthy.

Because when you set real boundaries, you’re not just protecting your time — you’re modeling self-leadership. And believe me, your sanity (and your team) will thank you for it.

So the next time Mary Martyr or Bulldozer Bob comes knocking, you’ll be ready. No drama. No guilt. Just No-BS Boundaries™.