My husband and I moved into a new house over the weekend. It’s absolutely amazing, but my closet… is a thing of beauty. The first moment I saw it, I had an immediate flashback to 15-year-old Sheryl watching Clueless for the first time. (Yes, I realize I’m aging myself here). It’s not quite that big, but it has a window and a built-in organizer system. Be still my heart.

But when I began loading my clothes in there, there was just one problem: it didn’t work for me. The closet was teeming with these weird pull-out racks. They must not have worked for the previous owner either, as she had covered in cardboard and lining to turn them into shelves. Not to mention, where would I put my impressive collection of black yoga pants?

After consulting several closet professionals (totally a thing), I accepted that these unidentified contraptions were shoe racks for high heels. Well, I only own one pair of high heels, certainly not enough to necessitate the amount of real estate dedicated to those torture devices. (I can fall over while standing still, in sneakers, leaning up against a wall. Wearing high heels makes me feel like a baby giraffe with an inner ear infection.)

I was getting pretty frustrated. Here I was with this beautiful, spacious closet – certainly the largest I’ve ever had – and it didn’t work for me.

But wait… the entire system is adjustable!

Pulling out that first shoe rack made me feel like an Amazon. So, I pulled them all out. I created a closet that actually worked for me, rather than just accepting what had been handed down to me and maybe buying more heels. As a bonus treat (and to clear off the random crap that was still sitting on my bathroom vanity, I created a “WTF Box.” This is a small box at the bottom of my closet where I can deposit all the things that I don’t know wtf to do with, but I don’t want to throw them out. I’ll deal with those at a later time, or I’ll realize after a few months have passed that I didn’t really need them at all, and I’ll just thank them for their service Marie Kondo style and send them to the great big donation pile in the sky.

“Thanks for the glimpse into your new home, Sheryl, but why are you sharing this with the world?”

I’m so glad you asked!

Our Belief Systems

My closet represents our brains, our psyches, the very core of who we are. That shelving system represents our beliefs. They’ve been handed down to us from our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, etc. Those beliefs that have taken root? We didn’t choose most of them. Sometimes, we aren’t even aware they are there. There are “rules” or “systems” running in our brains that we did not intentionally adopt and may not even realize they are running amok.

I’m not trying to throw our parents under the bus here. Chances are, they didn’t realize the beliefs they were carrying with them and instilling in us youngins.

These beliefs can center around:

• Money and wealth: “Rich people are all greedy.”
• Relationships: There are no good men out there.
• Our bodies: Ugh, I’m so fat.
• Our self-worth: If I’m not doing things for others, I have no value.

I invite you to take some time to sit quietly and look for those hidden beliefs in the deep recesses of your mind. No doubt, you’ll be surprised by the unconscious rules that have been controlling your behaviors for the last several decades. Note: You may need a therapist to assist you on this journey. If one of your beliefs is that seeking help for your emotions is weak… yank that thought out like the Amazon you are.

Reorganize Your Closet

Uncovering your old beliefs will take some time, but if you want to create the “closet of your dreams,” this is an essential task. The first step? You need to know that you can. You do not have to live the rest of your life operating by someone else’s rules. You have the right to examine your belief systems and throw out what doesn’t serve you.

In “You Had Me At No,” I ran readers through an exercise where they listed their old, crappy beliefs and then countered them with warm fuzzy beliefs that better served them. If you’d like to download the worksheet, you can do so at www.YouHadMeAtNo.com.

Create a Belief System You Love

• Money is not the root of all evil. It can be used for good.
• There are good men out there, and they are looking for good partners.
• You are not fat. If you do have some extra pounds to lose, that’s okay. You can do it.
• It’s okay to have limits (boundaries) on what you will and won’t do for others, and that doesn’t make you a bad person.

No matter what beliefs you’ve been dealing with throughout your life, you get to choose which ones you take with you into the future. Stop trying to make that “handed down” closet system work for you. And, if there are any beliefs you aren’t ready to face yet, throw them in the “WTF Box.” You’ll either be ready to deal with them later, or you’ll realize in due time that you didn’t need them to begin with, and it’s perfectly acceptable to release them.

There you have it! Clean out your closet. Reorganize it. And let’s move into the future with a system that helps you reach your goals. What’s the first thing that you need to throw out?

About the Author

Sheryl Green is a Mental Health speaker and author who works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being. Her mission is to make the world a better place… one boundary at a time. Learn more about her entertaining and illuminating programs or contact her at 702.885.4309.