The New Year is here! Hopefully, you have big dreams for what you will accomplish in 2024 (and beyond).
Achieving those dreams will take energy, focus, tenacity, and boundaries. Oh yeah, you knew that was coming, didn’t you? When you want to achieve great things, not only will you have to set boundaries with yourself, creating a discipline you’ve potentially never had, but you will also have to set boundaries with others. This begins with who you share your dreams with.
Planting the Seeds of Doubt
Years ago, I decided that I wanted to be a professional speaker. I’d gotten a taste of speaking in front of crowds, and I was hooked. Two things stood out:
- Sharing my story and the challenges I’d experienced was improving other people’s lives
- Making people laugh was the most amazing feeling I’d ever had
I shared this with a few of the close people in my life. One of them suggested that I enroll in the Speaker’s Academy through the National Speaker Association and put me in contact with someone who could mentor me. Another suggested I bring on a few writing clients while I was building my speaking business, to take the pressure off having to make money. And one, asked me what gave me the right to talk about this topic?
Wait… what?
Oh yeah, this person and I were extremely close my entire life. Yet in 15 seconds, they gave corporeal form to that voice in my head that said I wasn’t good enough, didn’t have the credentials, would never be a success, etc. Ouch.
I’d love to say I’m over it. I’d love to say that it’s been years since that person shook me to my core, and I’ve never given it a second thought. I’d love to say that, but I can’t. The truth is, I gave that person a desk and a nameplate in my head, and they fed my Imposter Syndrome for years.
Where is Your Feedback Coming From?
Is there someone in your life who always has a reason why whatever you’re going to do won’t work? Is there someone who shoots down every idea, mocks you for having big dreams, and doesn’t understand why you have the audacity to step out of your comfort zone and reach for greater things?
Turns out, their reaction probably has a lot more to do with how they feel about themselves, than with how they feel about you.
Now, I’m not suggesting you hole up in a cave and become a hermit until the day you achieve whatever it is you want to achieve. Great things require great support, and you are going to need the emotional support and sometimes even the financial support of the people close to you. What I am saying is to be careful from whom you take advice and feedback.
Do you allow a hairdresser with bad hair to touch your head?
Should you take dieting advice from an overweight doctor?
Would you take entrepreneurial advice from someone who has always been an employee?
Hopefully not! When you are working towards something great, it’s time to be picky about who you talk to and take advice from.
Say Nay to the Naysayers
Some people will never step outside of their comfort zones. They are scared to fail, and frankly, you’re willingness to put yourself out there without the promise of success… well, it makes them uncomfortable. Whether it’s starting your own business, writing a book, becoming a musician, or going back to school later in life, they will give you all the reasons why it’s a terrible idea. They are pigeons, pooping all over your positivity.
Ignore them. Block them out. Construct a boundary that protects you from their negativity and doubt. Whatever you do, don’t give them a desk and a nameplate in your mind.
Surround Yourself with Support
Notice I said support, not “Yes Men.” Achieving great things requires planning, hard work, and resources. Don’t surround yourself with people who say, “Of course you can jump off that cliff without a parachute. You are amazing and you can do anything you put your mind to.” Reality and gravity will prove this wrong.
Surround yourself with the people who say, “Let’s check your parachute together.” “Do you want me to walk your dog so you can stay out later practicing?” and “I’m so proud of you. Come to dinner at my place on Sunday. I want to hear all about your experiences.”
Create a team of people who will support you, help you, be excited for you, and give you a dose of reality when you are in physical danger. Achieving big things requires that you create boundaries and insulate yourself from the pigeons who will poop all over your dreams. Do the big things. Achieve your goals. Live your dreams… poop free.
Who are the pigeons in your life?
About the Author
Sheryl Green is a Mental Health speaker and author who works with individuals and organizations to establish healthy boundaries to improve relationships, communication, and well-being. Her mission is to make the world a better place… one boundary at a time. Learn more about her entertaining and illuminating programs or contact her at 702.885.4309.
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